Gaming Safety Guide

Understand in-game chat, gaming communities, spending, and what to watch for whether you're a gamer, parent, educator, or mentor.

Why this matters: Gaming is a major part of social life for many people. In-game chat, multiplayer communities, and interactions with strangers create real considerations worth understanding if you game yourself or support someone who does.

Why in-game chat is different from text messages:

In-game chat is often less visible than text messages. Unlike texting apps or Discord, most games don't keep chat history you can review later, and those supervising someone often can't monitor it directly.

What to Understand

  • In-game chat connects you with strangers from around the world
  • Some people try to build trust gradually over time (called grooming) in order to manipulate or exploit someone
  • People can share location clues in casual conversation without realizing how much information they are revealing
  • Toxic players may use harassment or hate speech
  • People can be manipulated into sharing personal information, especially when trust has been built over time

Things to Consider

  • Don't assume someone will automatically report uncomfortable interactions
  • Game moderation has limits; it can't prevent all problematic behavior
  • Voice chat settings should be configured with control in mind
  • Online players include adults, not just other young people
  • Being friendly with someone online doesn't guarantee they're trustworthy

Real conversation starters:

"Who do you usually play with? Have any of them ever asked you personal questions or asked to be friends outside the game?"

"Has anyone in the game ever made you uncomfortable or said mean things?"

"What games do you play that have voice chat? Do you use a microphone?"

Fortnite

  • Chat risks: Public squad members in every game, often voice chat available
  • In-game purchases: Cosmetics, battle passes, and emotes available for purchase
  • Community: Large global player base with interactions with unknown players
  • Talk about: "Do you stick to playing with your friends, or do you squad with randoms?"

Roblox

  • Chat risks: User-generated worlds = unpredictable content, chat with any player
  • In-game purchases: Premium currency available, cosmetics and items can encourage repeated spending
  • Player base: Popular with a wide range of ages and abilities; public experiences involve people they don't know
  • Talk about: "What worlds/games do you play? Do you chat with other players?"

Minecraft (Multiplayer Servers)

  • Chat risks: Depends on the server: some moderated, some with open chat
  • In-game purchases: Subscription options available; private servers may have different costs
  • More controlled option: Playing only with known friends via private servers
  • Talk about: "Do you play on public servers or private servers with friends?"

Call of Duty, Valorant, CS:GO

  • Chat risks: Competitive games may include harsh language, harassment, or other difficult interactions in voice or text chat
  • Content: Rated M for Mature (17+), but played by younger people
  • In-game purchases: Weapon cosmetics, battle passes, and other items available for purchase
  • Talk about: "Do other players say mean things during games? How do you handle it?"

Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley

  • Chat risks: Minimal: these games have less chat and smaller communities
  • In-game purchases: Low: no in-game purchases or cosmetics
  • Different experience: These are good alternatives if you want less multiplayer chaos

Many gamers use Discord (a chat app) alongside games to voice chat with friends. This creates another communication space where interactions may continue outside the game.

Considerations for Discord:

  • Private servers: Invite-only groups where moderation may be limited or absent
  • Age-gated communities: Servers claiming to be "18+" but verification is rare
  • Direct messages: Anyone can message, including people who met someone in-game and may not be trustworthy
  • File sharing: Players can send links containing malware or inappropriate content
  • Grooming: Some people use Discord for private one-on-one conversations after initial contact in games

Discord privacy & safety:

Review Discord's current privacy and safety settings together, including who can send direct messages, friend requests, or other content. Available controls can change over time, so check Discord's current settings and support guidance.

Consider what kinds of contacts and communities make sense for your situation, and talk about what to do if an interaction becomes uncomfortable or moves into private messages.

Red flags in online gaming and Discord:

  • Pressure to move conversations to private or less-moderated communication
  • Repeated personal questions (age, location, school, phone number)
  • Requests for photos, video calls, or personal information
  • Unsolicited links to websites, apps, or files
  • Being added to servers or groups without consent
  • Requests for secrecy or special "private" relationships
  • Persistent attempts to build exclusive relationships

Many games use design features that can encourage repeated or unplanned spending. Understanding those features can make it easier to set a budget or decide what purchases make sense.

Common features to notice:

  • FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): Limited-time items that "disappear forever"
  • Social pressure: Cosmetics show status; some players feel social pressure when others have cosmetics they don't
  • Loot boxes: Randomized rewards encourage "just one more" purchase
  • Battle passes: Recurring seasonal subscriptions that reset
  • Easy payments: Stored payment methods make purchases quick
  • Peer comparison: Leaderboards, cosmetics, and skins create visible status differences

Real spending varies widely:

In-game spending depends on the game, the player, what purchases they make, any subscriptions, and household choices. Some people spend nothing, others spend frequently. Talking about a realistic budget and which purchases make sense can help manage spending.

Ways to manage spending:

Options to consider:

• Remove payment methods from accounts and set a time to discuss purchases together

• Use prepaid gift cards or allowance-based systems that fit your household budget

• Set up account controls on app stores to require approval for purchases

• Have ongoing conversations about spending, game economics, and what purchases make sense

• Review account activity and statements regularly to catch unauthorized charges

• Set a spending limit that fits your situation and adjust it as needed

Competitive online games can sometimes have negative community behavior. Gamers may experience:

Behaviors that can happen:

  • Aggressive reactions: Players yelling or using harsh language when losing
  • Sexism: Gendered slurs and sexual comments directed at women and girls
  • Racism: Racial slurs and racist jokes in chat or voice
  • Mocking: Jokes at someone's expense for their skill level
  • Harassment: Repeated targeted behavior across multiple games or platforms

If this happens:

Steps to consider:
• Remember: negative behavior from others reflects on them, not on you
• Use in-game tools: block, mute, report the player
• Review privacy settings to limit who can contact you
• Save screenshots if the behavior continues
• Report the behavior through the game's support system

Conversation starter: "Have you had any interactions in games that made you uncomfortable? I'm here to listen and help figure out next steps." (Adapt for your relationship with the gamer.)

Things to consider for balanced gaming:

  • Time boundaries: Set limits that work with work, school, sleep, and other priorities in your life
  • Break rhythm: Take breaks that work for your body and attention; looking away from the screen regularly can help with eye strain and focus
  • Balance: Make room for responsibilities, movement, sleep, and other activities alongside gaming
  • Gaming visibility: Consider whether shared-space gaming or some visibility into what's happening fits your situation
  • Who you play with: Consider who you interact with online and whether private multiplayer or known communities work better for you

What features change the experience?

Different games have different features. When choosing what to play, consider:

  • Public vs. private multiplayer: Some games connect you only with friends; others match you with strangers
  • Voice and text chat: Whether the game includes direct communication with other players
  • User-generated content: Games where players create worlds or content (like Roblox or Minecraft servers)
  • Contact with unknown players: How much interaction happens with people you don't know
  • Purchases and subscriptions: Whether the game includes cosmetics, battle passes, or other spending
  • Moderation and reporting: What tools exist to report problems or block others
  • Privacy and contact controls: What settings let you control who can message or see your profile
  • Content rating: Age recommendations and content type

What matters most depends on your priorities. Some people prefer single-player or friend-only multiplayer; others enjoy larger communities. The goal is to choose games and settings that fit your comfort level.

What to do instead of always gaming:

  • Play board games or card games together
  • Go outside (biking, sports, exploring)
  • Creative hobbies (drawing, music, building)
  • Reading, audiobooks, podcasts
  • Cooking or baking together

Key Takeaway

Gaming is a normal, important part of how many people spend time online. The goal isn't to eliminate gaming, but to make it safer and more balanced.